Things I Can Control

There are a lot of things in my life that I have no control over. 

There are a lot of things in the world I have no control over.

There are times when I hate staying at home because I feel like I have lost myself, am not contributing to society, get bored and want to feel productive.

Then there are times when I LOVE staying at home because I feel loved, needed, appreciated, empowered. 

Today is one of those days.

You all know that I have been trying to lose weight and eat healthier, but I never would have guessed a whole revolution would begin to take place within me and within my household.

I started researching vegetarian and vegan diets, reading books about food ethics, green living and thinking more about what kind of planet I am leaving my children.

I know, deep right? This from wanting to lose weight? 

Absolutely.

Reading and learning about where my food comes from and how the choices I make literally effect the entire planet has been eye opening and empowering.

My whole life, food has meant something other than what it was suppose to be. It has been more confusing, something to "calculate", something to "avoid" and something to feel "guilty" about.

Then I had my doctors appointment and things needed to change. I started reading The Kind Diet and it moved me. It moved me to hear about connecting to the earth, your community, your body and nourishing yourself and the one body you were given.

I needed a revolution for my health, my appetite and my soul. So I have joined the cause and have started making changes in what kinds of food I buy and feed my family. 

Funny enough, it feels great!

Here are some of the "revolutionary" changes that I have made over the past couple of weeks:

1. Replaced my husbands Diet Pepsi with all natural Ginger Ale

2. Hormone free, antibiotic free and humanely treated chicken eggs

3. Organic and low sugar applesauce

4. Fresh, organic, in season, local vegetables

5. Organic Soy yogurt

6. Flax Meal (thanks to Jessica for the knowledge of this)

7. Assorted nut butters; cashew, almond and peanut

8. Organic tofu; as a meat replacement

9. Water purifier

10. Greek Yogurt; less sugar and higher protein

11. Fresh, organic and in season fruits

12. Organic jam
13. Vegan Mayo substitute
14. Organic milk

15. Chocolate, organic soy milk

I have been trying so hard to not open any boxes, cans or packages, for my family that I am slowly starting to enjoy cooking. Alas right now all I know how to cook extremely well is stir fry, but come on, one step at a time right?

I would love to go full blown vegan, but don't know how to actual accomplish this in the real world. Everything is always very simple in your comfort zone, but what will I do when I meet friends for lunch, have play dates, etc?

I know there are people out there that do this full time, but for me, flirting is the way I think I will be going for awhile.

If you have any other food swaps that you can think of that I might have missed, fill me in. Plus, have some vegan recipes? I would love to try them. Let's link up if you have some and we can have "dinner" together one night.

I will try my best to keep you posted on this random vegan/vegetarian journey. I know I will have the enivetable #FAIL every now and then *ahem - McFlurry - ahem* but a cleaner, greener, more energized and less puffy Sue is what we are really looking for!

My very first conference!

I was lucky enough to attend Bloggy Bootcamp in Baltimore this weekend with a friend of mine, Fadra, from all.things.fadra.


When I say, lucky enough, I mean, LUCKY. 


This was the first time I had left my children over the weekend and the first time my husband was alone with either one of them, let alone both of them over night. It is not like he can't handle it; it is more like, I DON'T GO ANYWHERE!


I go lots of places WITH the kids, just never alone. 


So when the chance to network, road trip with a friend and be without the kids came along, saying I jumped at the chance would be an understatement.


I. Had. The. Best. Time.


I was able to learn so much I didn't know about blogging, I was able to network with women that I have admired from afar and I was able to feel, for the first time, that I was more than just a stay-at-home-mom.


I love blogging. 


I love the connections I have made because of it. I love the knowledge I have gained from learning social media, code and fine-tuning my writing.


I love hearing that my story has happened to someone else and that even though I feel like I am alone all day sometimes, I really am surrounded by others struggling just as much as I am.


I know some people don't understand "online friends", and I was one of them. However, since networking and meeting people through Twitter and blogging, I understand the community you feel when you reach out to people who share your same circumstance.


On top of all that, I was able to meet one of the bloggers that I really admire, Jill from Scary Mommy. I have always admired her writing, to hear her speak and to meet her, was just the break I needed. (Plus, she is SO nice, you would not believe!)

Besides networking and having a great time, I was able to learn more about general social media like Twitter and Facebook, SEO, the FTC, how to develop a relationship with brands and make yourself/ your blog more PR friendly.

* Kathy, Jill and Tiffany giving us all the much needed information

I left feeling empowered, energized, full of ideas and more satisfied with myself. (Didn't think you would give all that would ya' Tiffany?)

Plus, on top of that, I met some fabulous women, the kind that make you feel like you were separated at birth. 

You know, your tribe.

Get to know them, get to know me and look out...I'm a coming!

Mayhem and Moxie 

(My SF sista)

Love Feast 

(You want her at your dinner table)

Desperately Seeking Silence 

(OMG! I think we were meant to be sisters, or at least neighbors!)

The Budge Bunch

(So sweet and she doesn't even know it.)

Wordless Wednesday

How Do I Love You?

In our family we try really hard to make reading a priority. It doesn't always happen when we are tired and cranky (like tonight) but luckily we have made it an intergral part of our bedtime routine. 

We try to mix it up and get new books and books with good moral lessons and books that are more than just a story. 

There are tons on my list of favorite, but there is one in particular that melts my heart every time I read it.

How Do I Love You? by P.K. Hallian is a cute story that sums up the unconditional love a parent feels for their children. I have been stuck on this book lately because, as adorable as my children are, they have been pushing my buttons a lot right now.

If you are in the market for a new book, check this one out and share it with your little ones.

How Do I love you? 

Let me count the ways.

I love you on your very best and very worst of days.

I love to see you laughing and dancing in the rain.

Even when you lose your shoes, I love you just the same.

I love to hear you singing.

 I love to see you smile.

I love the way you take each day in your own unhurried style.

I'm happy when you're happy.

I'm sorry when you're sad.

Even though it may not show, I love you when you're bad.

How do I love you? 

Well, now, let me see.

I love the way you act so brave when you fall and hurt your knee.

I love to watch you sleeping, tucked away in pleasant dreams.

I love to hear you whisper all your giant plans and schemes.

I love the way you wear your pants with the front part in the back and the way you walk around sometimes with your head inside a sack.

I love to see you deep in thought.

I love to watch you play and though I'm sure you'll never know, I love you more each day.

How do I love you? 

It's impossible to say.

For if I had a million days and time enough for all the praise, I couldn't tell you all the ways...

I love you.

*Swoon* 

I hope you enjoy this book as much as I do.

(FYI: Not a paid endorsement, just my love and opinion.)

 

You Matter

A friend came over for coffee the other day and I warned her beforehand that my house was a colossal mess. 


For those that know me, when that statement is uttered, they usually don't believe me because I am such a clean freak. 


Ummm, this time, it was true. I am in the process of reorganizing my entire upstairs (combining kids, painting, selling furniture, and the works) and my house looks like it could be on an episode of Hoarders.


Anyway...she walks in and sighs, "I am so glad to see your house messy." 


This stuck with me for the rest of the day because it was a strong reminder that everyone struggles with balance. 


I stress and stress so much over all the things I have to get done around the house that I feel like I am not a very good mother to my kids and that I have lost how to enjoy them. 


Don't get me wrong, I am not ignoring them, but I get sucked into doing the dishes, the laundry, vacuuming, etc. that I realized that I don't ever just sit and play with my kids anymore.


Having two kids or as I like to call it in a post I am STILL working on, "1 + 1 = Zoloft: My descent into PPD", is hard. Finding balance with one kid is hard enough, but now with two there is more of a mess, more to prepare for, more to clean up, more chaos. 


I was watching videos from my son's first birthday and I cried. We made the day so special and our home was filled with all our family and friends while we laughed and celebrated the birth of my baby boy. We watched him eat his cake, we sang to him and we were just plain thankful for having him in our lives. 


Fast forward to my daughter's first birthday and you find an entirely different situation. Yes, we were sick, but no effort has been made to reschedule the celebration. 


The mentality is different now. "Oh its okay, she is so little she doesn't know the difference." Yes, true, but I know the difference and I want to celebrate her.


I want to celebrate her, my son, find a balance to all the things I now have to juggle. Why is it that you want something so badly and when it happens you feel totally ill-equipped to do the job?


I am not seeking perfection, but merely a balance between together and off the deep end. Is that so much to ask?


As luck would have it, I stumbled upon a video that really helped mend my heart that day. 


It is beautiful, moving and a nice reminder that, as my dad always says, "This too shall pass" and the job I am doing is amazing and one of the most important jobs anyone could ever have. 


I know the balance I so desperately seek is somewhere deep down inside my heart and all I have to do when I feel it slipping away is close my eyes, take a deep breath, then look at my children and I will know it is there and always will be.


This video/essay is so wonderful and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Well, I didn't know that!

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Melissa from Ask Miss Mommy! I hope you enjoy meeting her and maybe learn a thing or two about bargin shopping and how to make environmentally informed decisions for your baby and your home. 


Don't forget to stop by her blog and leave her some love too!

*A special thanks to Melissa for being so patient with me this month. I was supposed to have her interview published by the 15th of this month, but with all the sickness drama it was pushed back until now. Thanks again Melissa and all my readers for understanding and being so patient!

Enjoy and see you next month!

1. When did you start blogging and why? 

I started blogging in September 2007 mainly because I kept getting a lot of the same questions from my mommy friends and I wanted to document it. Not that I minded the questions – I loved them but I thought if they have these questions I bet a lot of other moms do too. 

2. What is the overall theme of your blog? 

It started off as purely a product review type blog. I really only talked about stuff I had tried out and what I thought of it or how to purchase things. Over time I found I got more out of it when I talk about the real life “stuff” that was going on with me. 

3. I know you are interested in making “environmental informed choices” for your family; can you give us a couple of examples of how you have done that? 

Hmm… well I really try hard to read labels and think about where things come from, do we need this (ie. What’s our environmental impact) and how to be budget savvy. Those are broad examples but one specific one would be: our recent move to no plastic bags. I use all (safe) reusable containers to store leftovers, open food items, etc. It was tough in the beginning and a bit pricy but I lucked out on a BPA free Tupperware type kit from Costco. 

4. I started reading your blog early last year because Jessica turned me onto it and I just loved your “Who Am I post”. I really related to your emotion and how you were feeling. I am glad that you didn’t stop blogging because I was just getting to know you, but how have things smoothed out since then? Have you managed to streamline your vision of yourself and your online self? 

I find the balance really challenging sometimes. I still have those moments where I think “I’m done, that’s it, I’m taking it down”. But more often than not it’s because I’m putting unrealistic expectations on myself or comparing myself to others as a way to measure success. There no way to find happiness or contentment that way. So… to answer that I think I’m still working on it and maybe I always will be but I’m happy where I am with blogging, etc. for now. 

5. You have a weekly topic called Fine Motor Friday that you are passionate about; can you tell us what that is and how you came up with it? 

Fine Motor Friday is all about fine motor development and often other things that go along with that. Fine motor skills refer to small muscle work – writing, cutting, coloring, and eating – and for children is a huge part of their day. When I used to work outside of the home as an occupational therapist (OT) I worked as a school based OT. I felt like I was losing a bit of that part of my identity and as Cate (my oldest) got older suddenly I could pull out my work stuff and use it. It was exciting! 

I wanted to share with everyone fun things to do with their children and why they were important – how to make them fun and what underlying skills are being addressed as well. My overall goal was to incorporate more of myself in my blog and to add my unique contribution as a mommy and an OT.

6. I also really love all of the reviews you do on your site. I have more than once thought of you when researching a product and always love your input. How did you get into reviewing and do you have any advice for newbies out there looking to build relationships with companies? 

My first product review that I received as a freebie was a nursing cover, soon after that was the Patemm Pad and on and on. I just started writing to companies telling them about myself and requesting products. I started randomly and then focused down to smaller items that fit my criteria (mommy/ baby focused, environmental friendly) then worked up to larger items. I get about 50% response rate to my emails. It takes a lot of time and I have slowed down a bit lately. I still love it and enjoy all the products I have had the opportunity to review.

I think being polite and appreciative is really important. Even if I don’t like a product I’m respectful because it’s somebody’s idea. I like to present things in a factual way so you can see my view but also form your own. 

7. What was it like for you, as a working Pediatric Occupational Therapist, transitioning to a SAHM of two girls? Was it a rough transition? Smooth? Do you miss working? 

After Cate was born I went back to work one day a week. I didn’t like it. I didn’t feel like I belonged there. I liked the intellectual work of it but not the absence from my daughter. I still did some per diem work until Grace was born but it was less than 5 hours a week by that time. I think about going back sometimes (especially on those really long days) but my heart isn’t it in. I feel content being with them and I feel like it’s where I’m supposed to be.

8. I know I love finding out what other SAHM’s, especially bloggers, do with their time. With that said, tell us what a “normal day” is like for you and your adorable children. How do you make time for them, the house, your blog, etc? 

We try to stay busy. I like to get out in the mornings whether that means it’s a preschool day for Cate, just running errands or hitting the park depends on the day. Then it’s lunch time, rest time/ nap time and on good days just a couple of hours until Daddy arrives. I have a babysitter once a week in the afternoon and my dad helps me once a week so I have some down time that I try to catch up on laundry, cleaning and sometimes blogging. I find time to blog mainly at night but sometimes during rest time. I really try to focus on being present and playing with the girls in the morning. Then I let the afternoons juggle between keeping them occupied, trying to clean up and do dinner, etc. 

9. What can we expect from Ask Miss Mommy in 2010? 

Definitely Fine Motor Fridays – hopefully on Fridays but no promises there, some product reviews scattered in and weekly posts on where I’m at in the this incredible journey of motherhood. Oh and honesty – always. 

10. Lastly, I know this a broad question and a difficult one, but how has motherhood changed you, both physically and emotionally? 

It’s ruined me. 

Totally kidding! 

I don’t think I ever expected to be so in love with my children and moments later dislike them so intensely. It’s a journey of emotions I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t expect it to be so hard to balance being happily married, raising and nurturing my girls, keeping up with my house, having a social life and allowing for time for myself. I wouldn’t give it up even but it’s hard. Part of the reason I love to blog is learning from other moms how they cope, knowing I’m not alone and experiencing this wild ride together!!

Ask me about my wiener!

It is a funny thing, potty training. It opens doors to a lot of freedom, but it also opens doors to some other interesting topics.

I was always dreading the day I would have to begin potty training. My son is such a tyrant that I did want to deal with it was waiting until the right time to start him. In the eye of our family sickness, aka "February Can &#@$ Off", I decided it was time to start for good. We were stuck in the house all day every day, so why not?

As I said, to my surprise it went smoothly and without much resistance. Even now, he is still very excited and motivated by being able to do such a "big" thing by himself. We still get quite a few accidents, but all in all he is progressing excellently.

I was prepared for the accidents and the hard work it would take to get the job done, but I was not prepared for what else potty training would bring; the penis conversations and the grabbing.

This cracks me up because my son is so sweet and loves a good conversation. Now that he wears underpants and uses the potty he is much more aware of his penis. He likes to talk about it, watch it "shake around" when he dances, compare his to his daddy's and make everyone well aware that he has one and his sister does not.

"I am a boy and I have a penis and you a girl and you don't have it.", is something I now here quite a few times a day. When it is time for a bath and he gets to run around "naky", talk of his penis comes up yet again. The other morning when I was getting him dressed he told me, very seriously too, "I like my penis and I want to keep it."

I smiled, trying not to laugh out loud and just said, "Good. I am glad you like it and want to keep it. It is the only one you have so you need to take care of it." He nodded in agreement.

I try to let him know how much I love him talking to me about "things of this nature", but I have also tried to use this as an opportunity to help him understand what is private vs. public. He doesn't really get this yet, but we are working on it. Case in point, today I had a friend over for coffee and he wet his pants. While I was getting him new ones, I walk into his conversation with my friend that involved him asking and pointing to his crotch, "What is this under my penis?" 

She shrugged, looked at me for an answer and we both laughed and said, "Those are your balls." "Oh.", was his reply and he happily went on his way.

After she left I tried to talk to him about how happy I was for him communicating, but how we still needed to work on what private vs. public meant. This saddened him and again he said, "But I like my penis."

I took a deep breath and said, not sure I wanted to know the answer, "Why do you like it?"

"Because it is silly and makes me a pee-pee like a big boy."

He is so honest and loves to talk to my husband and me about everything and I don't ever want that to change. As he grows I can see life lessons and the harshness of reality starting to play a role with his innocence and what he can and cannot do.

I love watching him grow, but with the constant talk, discussions and reminders of his "junk" I now feel like I have three children, Misa Misa, Barrett and "Misa'a stuff". Hoping this is a phase and the discussions about it will diminish, but as of right now it is all I hear about during the day.

Smile and nod, smile and nod...