Been getting these emails and DM’s lately, “What’s been happening with you?!; Where are you?” and the always lovely, “I hope you didn’t lose it again.”
Ummmm….thanks.
Where have I been?
Easy.
Here, present and living my life.
Where have YOU been? [insert snarky teenager voice]
I know people are only asking because they care about me, but a lot of it as well feels like they are waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop with me. What am I, but a hot mess for mothers to look at so they can feel better about themselves a little more? No, but sometimes that is how it feels.
Just because I haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean I have buried my face in the pillows and called in for another week at the Chateau de Crazy. I have been living, cooking daily, desperately trying to enjoy cooking daily, hitting the gym, reading, reading and reading some more. Working, watching and celebrating my friends grow as writers, taking online writing courses, journaling, journaling and journaling some more. Getting up early to hike with friends, staying up late to talk with friends and watching in amazement as my children grow before my eyes.
I love blogging, but over the past couple of weeks I have thought seriously about ditching it all together, calling it quits and deleting it all. Not sure if I like where the world of blogging is going right now and feel as though the space I once called a community is now just a large glorified pissing contest.
The latter? Not for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the connections and the people I have met through my blog, but I have had to take the last couple of weeks to really weed out the people I want surrounding me in the blogging world. I miss the storytelling, the relating to one another, the union that comes from being moved by someone else’s life story. I’m in for it for the storytelling, the chance to expand my craft as a writer and the chance to make unions with some of the most amazing women I have ever met (online or off).
I guess it’s like high school all over again. Just what every mother in her early 30′s needs, to experience high school all over again. Not to be all dramatic, but just toying with the idea of calling it quits, even though deep down we both know I never will.
I hope you are all doing well and living life the way it makes you most happy, and thanks for checking up on me, I appreciate it.
Know that I’m still here, but with my head facing the sun this time…
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I think about it as well, especially about ditching my personal blog. It’s a commitment and one I have less and less time for. I don’t know, sometimes it just drains me and doesn’t bring me happiness the way it did before. I doubt this is helpful but I will say that when I do blog I feel better, more centered. So, can’t win?
Twitter: MotherhoodnMe
February 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Thanks for letting me know you relate. It’s hard sometimes when you don’t get joy anymore from something you love so much. Thanks again Tara.
Sue recently posted..facing the sun
I relate to this so much. Two things though, one people checking in with you can be just that- a genuine concern for you and your whereabouts, this world is so fast and constant that if you are not in the stream people start to wonder where you are. And two, there are plenty of us that are in it for the same reasons you are even if sometimes we are tempted by fool’s gold.
Twitter: MotherhoodnMe
February 22, 2012 at 8:52 pm
“Tempted by fool’s gold”. Great way of putting it. I agree with you, that there are plenty of us out there in it for the same reasons and that is just another reason why I feel blessed to know you girls. I think I did just that, got tempted by fool’s gold and lost track of what makes me happy and why I blog. Thanks for you feedback friend.
Oh, I totally get this…I really do. While I love the people I have come to know through this odd little world of blogs, some days I just wonder if it is really worth my time. There are weeks that I don’t post at all and you know what? Life goes on! Nobody dies! Amazing how much you don’t miss it the more often you unplug and face the sun…(I love that, btw).
And you? Do what suits you best. Maybe you will have weeks that go by without posts, maybe not. This is your adult life, we’ve all been through high school before.
xoxo
Sherri recently posted..Trifecta at the Mall
Twitter: MotherhoodnMe
February 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm
Unplugging has been so great right now and I find I grasp more onto the online stuff when I am feeling down. Not sure, but maybe life is easier from behind the screen. I feel blessed to have met real women and writer like you guys and the rest in our group, but every now and then I get off track and have to reevaluate what makes me tick here in the blog land. Thanks for your input friend.
Twitter: StaceyNerdin
February 23, 2012 at 9:14 am
Oh my gosh, YES. I totally understand this. I made some emotional breakthroughs recently, and I find that instead of hiding from my life – which is (to be honest) why I was comfortable spending so much time online – I’m more involved with living my life, and blogging has become so much more…superficial…to me. Or, at least the way *I* was engaging with the blogging world. (Which was the high school-ish “Pick me! Pick me!” kind of thing with opportunities and PR, etc.) At one point (and this was just in the last two months), I wanted to literally leave my blog altogether, but now I’m just trying to slowly move it in another direction. And I’m definitely moving my attentions in a different direction. I’m tired of the chatter, the noise, the overblown self-importance of it all. I’m not doing any conferences this year, not jockeying for any company’s attention, not trying to impress the right people and rub the right shoulders anymore. If some opportunities come by way, I’ll see (I’ve already turned some down!). It’s just that my LIFE has gotten so much bigger, and that’s a good thing, that’s the best thing. It’s put everything else in perspective. Which means that blogging – well – it’s not what my life’s about anymore. And that feels good, doesn’t it?
Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig recently posted..The Lorax Movie Merchandise and Fandango Gift Card #Giveaway
Twitter: MotherhoodnMe
February 23, 2012 at 9:19 am
YES! *hand waving in the air*
“I’m tired of the chatter, the noise, the overblown self-importance of it all.” Yes to this and everything else you said. You and I, Stacy, are always on the same page and I LOVE that.
I ditched a TON from my reader, twitter and FB as a means to surround myself with writers, like you, that truly lift others up and don’t just use them as a step to launch off of.
Why don’t we live closer to each other!!! Thanks for you input, I always appreciate it.
I could not agree with you more. You go momma. I don’t subscribe to any blogs – I simply check them out when I get a chance… and I’ve seen you on the babycenter blog…. but I have to say you really hit the mark with the comment that” it’s just a glorified pissing contest”- It used to be more interesting and cool…. but now it’s too commercialized and trashy….. Do what you need to do, take care of yourself, your family… enjoy life. I’ll miss not seeing your posts…. but seriously it’s not about me!